Elozonam Defends Oral Sex: ‘It Doesn’t Undermine Masculinity

Former Big Brother Naija star and actor, Elozonam Ogbolu, is challenging outdated ideas of manhood, urging men to reject societal myths about what makes someone “masculine.”

Speaking on the In The Company Of Men podcast with host Ikhane Akhigbe, Elozonam pushed back on long-held stereotypes — including the notion that activities like cooking, grocery shopping, or performing oral sex on women somehow undermine masculinity.

“Doing these things doesn’t make you less of a man,” he said firmly, advocating instead for men to adopt a more nurturing, emotionally intelligent approach in their relationships.

The actor emphasized that genuine masculinity isn’t about detachment or domination, but empathy, flexibility, and showing up for the women in one’s life — whether as a partner, brother, or friend.

He said, “When it comes to certain things, especially things that men are not accustomed to doing, I think it screams toxic masculinity. Some guys think that giving a woman head isn’t masculine. It’s that weird. Serving a woman, doing things for a woman, going to buy the groceries, to a lot of very staunch toxic males in Nigeria, these things don’t constitute as you being a man.

“For instance, if your wife asks you to please buy her a sanitary pad, those men will question it. They will say it makes them feel uncomfortable. Why can’t you buy your mum or your woman a sanitary pad? Why can’t you go down on your woman? Why can’t you cook for her? Why can’t you do things that ordinarily, in the typical African or gender sense, a woman is supposed to do? You feel like it makes you feel less of a man if you do all of these things, but it doesn’t.”

Elozonam said some women encourage toxic masculinity by fantasising and embracing toxic relationships.

He said, “Toxic masculinity is still fueled by the opposite gender. You can be a toxic male who has grown up with a toxic father, who has learned all these traits, and you go out into the world with your toxicity and your hazardous materials and all that junk. And you meet women who, that is their fantasy, they can’t be with you if you are not toxic. They cannot stand you if you are not toxic because they are used to it. It’s what they use to measure how much you love or care about them.

“It turns them on. Or, you are a guy that meets toxic girls and automatically, you are wet. Some girls even say they can’t be with a man that doesn’t beat them. I have seen things on social media like, ‘The man doesn’t love you if he doesn’t beat you.’ How? Like, why?”